Miscast
by nightbug
Summary: A miscast spell gets Cloud into a bit of a pickle. Cloud finds himself in the middle of an interesting game of keep-away between the multitude of ShinRa's employees.
1. Chapter 1

**Miscast** by _nightbug_

* * *

Part One: The Spell

* * *

Granted, sneaking into the cadet barracks wasn't the smartest thing to do, but when the newest Turk had some free time, he just had to spend it somehow, even if it was carelessly. Reno meandered the halls, actively seeking out mischief. There had to be _someone_ fucking around in there. He just knew it. His trouble-sense was tingling.

Speak of the Devil and he shall appear.

Not too many moments later, Reno found what he was looking for. A knot of furiously whispering cadets. It was after lights out, and several of them were from the same section, he could tell from the numbers stitched into their sleeves. Some of them, though, were a bit too highly ranked to be in the beginners section of the barracks.

Steadily walking closer, the redhead observed a flash of something sparkling. Ooh, a materia. Score!

The stealthy yet casual style of the Turks was completely lost on the oblivious cadets, nearly at each other's throats about something. Failing to hide their voices well, Reno's trained ears caught most of the argument from down the hallway.

"That's not a frog!"

"What are we gonna do?"

"We can't just toss him out looking like that! Someone will get suspicious."

"This is your fault."

"You asses! If it weren't for me, you'd still be licking the Sergeant's boots! So the spell was a little off. It's not my fault. It's this _thing's_ fault."

"He'll tell on us."

"Fuck him! He doesn't have the balls to tell anyone anything. Besides, we could fuck him up right now, make sure he won't squeal to anyone."

The dispute was getting a little bit more heated for Reno's taste. They were bound to do something stupid. One of the larger boys, who belonged in the advance section, was holding something and shaking it roughly. There was the sound of flesh meeting flesh, and Reno decided that it was time to step in.

"Well, what have we got here?" He drawled, sliding out from the shadows with his hands in his pockets. "A little after lights out, isn't it?"

The boys froze, looking ready to scatter. Reno recognized most of their faces as the typical bullies that appeared in ShinRa's rank quite often. Nothing surprising there. What shocked him though, was what the largest idiot-faced goon was holding. It looked like something from the Science department. A boxy apparatus with a green materia clamped into it. Then, in the boy's other hand was a small, fluffy-haired...child?

Huge blue eyes stared at Reno from beneath the shock of spiky blonde before they lit in recognition. Inwardly, Reno shrieked.

_Holy SHIT, that's Strife!_

Reno's outward appearance remained calm. "Why don't you guys drop 'em?"

The bulkiest of them, looking Reno up and down, snarled. "Mind your own damn business, filthy Turk."

Oh, how that was the very wrong thing to say.

Normally, Reno would have been a bit more level-headed about the name calling. However, his currently tiny friend was sporting a very nasty bruise on his cheek and ribs. He leapt at them without warning. Most of them scattered after the first few punches. Their own retaliatory blows were weak and slow. Reno dodged them easily. His goal was the biggest and stupidest one, but that guy was one stubborn bastard. He went down after two solid hits, but his grip on Cloud was tight. Cloud's white skin was colored with red finger marks by the time Reno was able to wrench him away.

A kick to the boy's side loosened his hold on the materia box, and Reno scooped it up. The others were already fleeing. Reno let them. Their ShinRa ID numbers were already neatly memorized in the Turk's mind. He would report them later, maybe. ShinRa tended to go too lightly on offenses like these. Once he found out how bad Cloud was, they would find themselves on the receiving end of his version of punishment.

"Hey, Cloud?"

The tiny thing in his arms turned to look up at him. The blonde sneezed.

"Damn, that's what you get for going around naked." Reno muttered, taking off his jacket and bundling the boy in it. He caught sight of a pile of discarded cadet clothing. It was most likely Cloud's, but it would do the blonde little good now. He balled it up and chucked it into Cloud's room.

The blonde's penchant for getting himself into trouble was immeasurable. Of course whatever was going on had to happen in front of Cloud's quarters. Now he was two feet tall with a massive head, disproportionate to his puny body, and completely naked.

The Turk stared at Cloud, tucked into the crook of his arm. The blonde looked puzzled. "Hey buddy, can you say something?"

"Aa." Chirped the blonde, drawing a frown across his tiny features.

Reno stilled. That look, it was... adorable. The redhead wasn't into all the cute shit that girls went ga-ga for, but that look made even Reno pause. The small, pout-like frown, beneath tiny nose, and large watery eyes. Cloud's tiny eyebrows were even knitted in an expression of miniscule frustration.

"Weno." Cloud tried again, and looked aghast by the childish speech.

The redhead snorted, the sound coming out against his will. His shoulders were shaking uncontrollably, even as the tiny cadet glared at him from his arms. Miniature fingers pointed to the box Reno held, then to himself.

"Esuna!" Demanded the tiny blonde, but from his small mouth and soft palate, it sounded more like "ethoona!"

Reno looked at the materia, which he recognized as a level 1 Transform materia. From what he had overheard, the shit-for-brains who had cast the spell was trying to cast Toad, but got Mini instead. Made sense since the materia wasn't even leveled up enough for Toad, but those idiots hadn't noticed. However, eyeing the blonde, Reno had to admit that he had never seen a Mini quite turn out like this.

It probably had something to do with the device it was in. Reno had his suspicions that undoing the miscast spell wasn't going to be as easy as slapping Cloud with an Esuna. Plus, there was the question of what the box was, and how'd the brats get a hold of it and the materia. He shared none of his doubts with Cloud, rather liking the fit the Mini Cloud threw.

"Nah. I think I'll keep ya like this. Much cuter this way." He said with a grin.

"Weno!" Squeaked Cloud, blue eyes blazing. He wriggled and hopped, and did something that seemed like a tiny attempt at a punch. It bopped Reno on the nose.

Immobilized, Reno stared at the teeny fist being waved in his face. He clutched Cloud to his chest, nearly smothering the boy in his shirt.

_Oh my god. I can't look him in the eye. That was too cute!_

"Mmf!" Mini Cloud made a sound of protest, and Reno obligingly loosened his grip. Little hands pushed away from Reno's chest, and Cloud's little mouth opened impossibly wide, sucking in gulps of air. His pale, baby-soft face was flushed with effort.

Big blue eyes narrowed at Reno.

"Twying to kiw me?" He asked warily.

_Shit, if he keeps looking at me like that, I swear, I'm gonna cuddle him to death. Or squeeze him or something._

"Maybe." Reno replied, grinning.

Belatedly, he reached around in his pockets. Luckily, he carried a few potions, in case of emergencies. The bruises hadn't left his mind yet, and he was keenly aware of the cadet's lack of defense in this state. "Open up." He said, uncapping a potion. "We gotta do something about those bruises before someone mistakes me as a child-abuser."

"Thut up." Cloud mumbled, reaching for the potion. His hands were too small for the bottle however, and he nearly fumbled it.

Trying not to grin too widely, Reno held the bottle to Cloud's lips. The blonde glared at him before obediently opening his mouth so the Turk could pour its contents down. Reno tilted it slowly, ever aware of the small mouth. Cloud got it down in a few swallows. The bruises faded into faint yellow marks on his skin, and Reno thought that'd be good enough for now.

The blonde twisted to glare at him. "Ihf you eber tew _anywun_ about dis, I'm gonna tew dem about da time you almosht made out wif a dog!" He threatened.

"Yeah, yeah." Reno breezed the threats aside. "Let's get you to a doctor or something. I don't feel like hauling your fat ass around all night."

"'m not fat! You'a jush weak." Cloud shot back.

Pleased that the spell hadn't inhibited the blonde's mentality at all, just his speech and size, Reno trotted away with the Mini Cloud in his arms.

"I can waak." The cadet protested.

"I'm not waiting forever for your midget legs to catch up."

Cloud fell silent, unable to come up with a reply to that. Tiny and helpless, Cloud frowned, staring down at his hands.

"Weno?" He asked, tentatively.

"What's up?" The redhead replied, making good time to the medic assigned to the floor.

"Do we haf to go? Maybe we can wait until it wea's off." Cloud said quietly.

"What? Why?" Reno stared at the blonde.

Cloud looked away. "Dun' wan' twouble."

The Turk sighed, instinctively knowing that Cloud's inferiority complex was rearing its ugly head again. The last thing he wanted was pity, but being a meek and powerless thing wasn't helping either.

"Don't sweat it." He said instead. "The only one's who'll be in trouble will be those little shits that did this to you. We need to get you examined to see what caused this."

"Dey can't haf much MP. It'w wea' off soon." Cloud mumbled stubbornly.

"No excuses." The thought had already crossed Reno's mind. Lugheads like those guys weren't the usual materia masters. They couldn't have had enough MP to hold a spell for a while, but if that had been the case, Cloud would have been normal already. Nope, it had something to do with the device. He probably should send it to be inspected.

Glancing down at the morose blonde in his arms, he sighed inwardly, and changed directions. Cloud really wanted no one to know about this. Honestly, he couldn't blame the kid, it was embarrassing. Didn't make him any less cute for it though. So he veered off toward Turk headquarters instead. He'd turn the device into Tseng and get the dirt on it. Then toss Cloud into the Turk infirmary for good measure. His bases covered, Reno picked up his pace.

The night was wearing on a bit longer than he'd thought, and the others were sure to pick up on the fact that he was missing pretty soon.

The heavy tread of booted feet was caught by his ears. Reno swore silently. He had been hoping to make it out without any further disruptions.

"Aww, man! That mission took way longer than I thought. It's already lights out!" A familiar voice complained loudly.

"Then you'd best leave him be." A smooth deep voice murmured.

Cloud looked up at Reno with wide, fearful eyes. Wordlessly, he pleaded the Turk to do something. This was getting out of hand.

"No way. Just a little peek in on Spiky, then I'll be good to go, yeah?" Reno could hear the grin in that playful tone.

"You are becoming more of a stalker every day." The deep voice said with a note of exasperation.

"Hey, don't be like that. I'm just looking out for his well being." Zack was said as he rounded the corner.

Unable to find a place to hide in time, Reno hastily covered Cloud's head with his jacket. The SOLDIERs spotted him immediately.

"Yo, Reno. What's up!" Zack greeted cheerfully, despite the late hour.

The Turk shrugged. "Got some deliveries to do. Expedited, if ya know what I mean." He held up the materia device and shook it around.

Zack raised a brow. "Tseng running you ragged this late in the game?"

A sigh escaped the redhead's lips. "Always, ya know?"

"This have anything to do with last week's stunt with the re-wired doors in Hojo's department?" The SOLDIER asked with a crooked grin tilting his lips.

"Nah, no idea what you're talking about." Reno replied, smirking. He had changed the pass codes on the doors to activate higher level security whenever a high class badge was swiped. The lower badges reversed it. Hojo sat on lockdown outside his own laboratory, nearly spitting with rage, while waiting for a janitor or intern to timidly open the doors for him.

"Oh, hey. What'cha got there?" Zack asked curiously.

Reno chanced a look down and saw with horror, a tuft of golden blonde hair poking out from beneath his jacket. "A chocobo." He answered instantly.

A tiny foot kicked his stomach under the cloth.

"Like a chick?" Zack's expression had brightened with childish glee.

"Perhaps now is not the time." Sephiroth interrupted, his arms crossed. He was intent on getting to his quarters, but he could not leave the SOLDIER unattended. Who knew what he would do to that poor cadet he so favored, without supervision.

"Something like that." Reno mumbled. "Anyhow, I need to get going."

"Aw, lemme have a look. Please?" Zack begged, giving the Turk his best puppy-eyed stare.

Cloud trembled.

"No, I don't think it's a good idea. I gotta jet." The Turk moved to get around the SOLDIERs, but Zack's energy couldn't be contained.

"Yoink!"

"_Shit!_" Reno swore loudly as the jacket was torn from his grip.

Zack stood, frozen in mid-cackle with the jacket still in his hands. Abruptly he straightened and replaced the jacket over the wide-eyed Cloud. He pulled Reno aside.

"Reno." He said seriously.

"What?" The redhead snapped impatiently, alarm bells ringing in his head.

"Give him to me." Zack said just as seriously.

"What!" Reno yelped.

"You heard me. Give!" Zack extended his hands and waggled his fingers like an over-exuberant child.

"No way." The Turk's arms curled around his bundle even tighter, turning away from the cheery SOLDIER.

"C'mon! He's so cute! I just want a snuggle with him for a little! Don't be greedy!" Zack pouted. "I'll tell on you to Cloud!"

A soft sigh could be heard from under the jacket. "Juth because you put a jacket ofer my head, doesent mean dat I can't hear you." Cloud lisped.

"He can talk!" Zack shrieked.

"Of course he can." Reno said with a glare. "It's just Cloud with a miscast Mini on him."

"Woah!" Zack's eyes widened. "I thought you made a doll of him or something."

"What the hell do you take me for? Some kind of sicko like you?" Reno shot back.

Sephiroth stood, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Children." He said sternly. "Can we use our inside voices?" He muttered mockingly. Ignoring their twin looks of surprise, the General swept toward Reno and plucked Mini Cloud from his grasp, re-securing the jacket around the nude form and pulling it away from his face.

He looked down at the terror stricken blonde. "Relax." He murmured, trying to soothe the overly tense boy. He pretty much had figured out that the miscast spell had something to do with the device Reno held. Most likely it had been some clueless morons picking on Strife again. Zack had informed a multitude of times of the bullying the blonde had suffered. This was the first time that the results were so... interesting. "I suppose it would be best to inform the medic?"

"Genewaw." The pale cadet attempted a pathetic salute, eyes locked in a too wide stare.

Sephiroth nearly missed a step in his smooth stride. He cleared his throat. "I believe I'll be taking Cadet Strife."

"Cheater! You just want him because he's cute!" Zack shouted.

"Dude, I had him first. Give him back, he's going with the Turks tonight!" Reno declared.

Sephiroth sighed regally. "It seems that the only way to resolve this matter is to let Strife himself decide." He said calmly. Looking at the bundle cuddled in the crook of one long arm, he asked "Cadet, who would you rather accompany you?"

Thoughtfully, Cloud eyed the three. Zack looked far too happy, even as he shot him a hopeful look. He just knew that the overzealous First would use the miniature form for some kind of scheme, or even, heaven forbid, take pictures. The thing he needed least was lasting evidence of this. The General would be more responsible, but it was humiliating enough as it was to be defenseless and held by the powerful man. He could feel his self-esteem plummeting every second that the General held him.

Cloud answered, "Weno."

"What?" Zack stared at him, crestfallen. "Aw, Spiky! Why?"

"Cuz you'd take pictures." Cloud replied. Unable to dispute the statement, the SOLDIER scratched the back of his head and scuffed a boot.

"They'd be cute pictures." He grumbled in his defense.

Reno, who had done nothing but what Cloud had wanted, grinned. "Alright, hand him over, General." He held out a hand expectantly.

"Hm, no." Sephiroth said. Ignoring the shocked stare from Cloud and Reno, he uncurled the Turk's jacket and threw it to its rightful owner, tucking the blonde within the folds of his own leather coat. "I outrank the cadet in this manner. I believe that it would be his best interest to remain in my care. Good night, gentleman." He said, satisfaction lacing his tone.

Cloud squeaked a protest. "Weno!" His tiny limbs flailing toward the Turk. Sephiroth laid a gloved hand over the blonde's head, gently patting the fluffy spikes.

"Relax," he murmured again.

"What the hell, pulling _rank_ on this?" Zack said, bewildered at his typically reasonable superior's utter abuse of power.

"That little shit." Reno cursed.

The two stared at each other as Sephiroth made his exit. At the same time they bolted, chasing after him, but the General was already at the elevators. He smirked as the doors closed just as they shot around the corner, and he rose to his floor.

* * *

Originally I planned this to be a oneshot, but this seemed like a good stopping point. Just a bit of crack I wrote while trying to reclaim the pieces of my mid-terms shattered mind. I've been staring at chibi-Cloud more than I have been studying my notes. I figured that he made the cutest chibi ever, and the Crisis Core world needed more of him, even if in reality, it would look like a misshapen and creepy mutant.


	2. Chapter 2

Part Two: The Dispute

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Reno tapped his finger impatiently on the counter, one crossed leg doing a stuttering dance of its own as he waited for Tseng to review the object he had tossed at him.

"This is ShinRa Science Lab's experimental MP amplifier." The senior Turk said quietly as he turned the device over in his hands. "By the look of the materia, am I to assume that this has already been tested outside of controlled circumstances?" He asked dryly.

"Something like that." Reno replied flippantly. "So, what's it do besides jack up the user's MP or something?" He asked, more keenly aware of how Tseng's eyes were carefully gauging him from beneath lowered lids.

"It uses cells of condensed mako as a battery to feed the materia extra energy in order to power up spells to levels that would normally be beyond the user. However, in all clinical trials, the results were not quite what was expected."

"I'm listenin'." Reno said, silently demanding that Tseng hurry with the explanation. There should be limits on how thorough a man could be with that.

"The excess energy makes the magic arc, warping the spell. The flow of mako is different than energy released by a person. The conflicting feeds unbalance the spell, so the resulting cast is skewed based on how much control the user has over the magic. The more skilled the control over the flow, the steadier and truer the spell."

The redhead didn't like the sound of that at all. At least it explained how Cloud ended up with that fucked up shape. A true Mini would have at least kept him proportionate.

"How long does it last?" He asked, scratching the back of his neck.

Tseng fixed Reno with a mild look. "Nearly all of the studies dealt with element based magic materia. The amplifier was designed with offensive spells in mind. This is a level one Transform materia, and an amplifier with depleted mako cells. There's no telling how long the effect will last." He looked at the materia that could only cast Mini. It had obviously been a tool used for bullying, and he recalled how the previous cast spells had appeared with experienced casters. Bullies were not known for their talent in fine materia control.

Tiredly, Tseng pinched the bridge of his nose. "Do I want to hear who the unfortunate victim was?"

* * *

Patiently, Sephiroth tucked Cloud into a miniature bed made from the General's own bedclothes. The blonde was a vibrant red as he was carefully placed inside the nest of firm pillows and clean sheets.

"Genewaw, sir. Dis is unnessesawy." The cadet protested weakly as he limply allowed the General's roaming hands settle his shortened limbs into a comfortable position. His own efforts to stand and walk away had resulted in a humiliating stumble and a half-crawl back to the bed after he had toppled off of it. Worse yet, a startled "oof" had escaped his lips as he fell face-first onto Sephiroth's carpet, eliciting an indulgent smirk from the General.

"Cadet Strife," the man all but purred, "you must trust me, your superior officer in this matter." He said with an inordinate amount of satisfaction.

Cloud bit back the retort that his condition hardly warranted getting tucked into the General's _bed_. Plus, he was being treated like some kind of spoiled pet. He was a cadet, dammit! He had worked his ass off to get there, braved the sickening boat trip to Midgar, and put up with the most asinine instructors the Planet had to offer. Honestly, those imbeciles that ShinRa hired to train the recruits would not be able to survive outside of ShinRa's protective bosom. If they were given bucket and placed next to a river, they didn't have the combined brainpower to keep themselves from dehydrating to death.

It was an impossibly frustrating situation made more so by the fact that he was being babied by the idyllic SOLDIER himself, who seemed to not notice how very uncomfortable he was making Cloud. There was also no excuse for the utterly bizarre treatment unless...

Cloud shot a glance at the gloved hands that were being so gentle with his frail body. Really, he was treating him like--Cloud broke off the thought immediately. The repercussions of such thoughts were too disturbing, and the blonde wanted nothing more than to bash them out of his memories, along with this entire incident.

Loud, sudden banging thankfully derailed his train of thoughts.

A small frown tugged at the General's lips, drawing the corners down slightly at the interruption.

"Hey, Seph! I know you're in there! Give Spiky back now!!" Zack yelled from outside Sephiroth's quarters.

With something that was part grunt and part sigh, Sephiroth stood and glared at the door as if the sheer irritation radiating from his eyes would melt through the reinforced steel and set the unruly SOLDIER First on fire. Alas, his grossly exaggerated supernatural powers did not extend to eye lasers, and he had to actually walk to the door to answer it like any other human being.

He pulled open the door in one smooth motion.

"No, I will not hand Strife to you. No, you may not come in. No, this is not up for discussion. Good night, Zackary." Sephiroth spoke calmly, but all in one breath. Without allowing his subordinate a chance to reply, he shut the door on Zack's foot.

The General sighed again. Zackary's body always did move faster than his brain. Quick instincts made him a good SOLDIER, but also an annoying person to fight against. He stared at the booted foot that blocked his seamlessly closing door.

"Wait a sec, Seph. That's not fair!" Zack protested, trying to worm his way through the open crack. He had already forced an arm through, and was pushing back with the other.

Strength against strength, Fair had no chance of winning, but Sephiroth was reluctant to crush his friend's foot just to prove his point. Zack had taken his hesitation as an invitation, and managed to shove the door open enough to squeeze into his apartment. The SOLDIER stumbled, straightened, and spun to face his superior who glared at him, irritated.

"Dude, you can't just yank our chains like that!" He complained with a wild gesture of his hands. "Pulling rank? That's not like you at all. C'mon, Mr. I'm-a-proper-SOLDIER-and-that's-all-I'll-ever-be, give me a break. What's really got your knickers in a knot?" He asked in a huff.

Stupid and silly he sometimes was, but it cannot be said that Zackary Fair was not a good friend. He was unfortunately observant, even if it didn't always seem so.

"Nothing. All is well." Sephiroth intoned quietly. "Though I am quite tired. The last mission was taxing. A bit of rest would be nice." He confided softly.

"Sure." Zack replied brightly. "And I'll be out of your hair as soon as I get Spiky."

"No." The General said flatly.

The SOLDIER stared at him. "Why not? I could take better care of him!" Zack argued.

"This isn't a competition, Zackary." Sephiroth said with a degree of warning in his voice.

"But you've never showed an interest like this in him before. What changed, other than his size?" The spiky haired man sputtered.

Sephiroth rubbed at his temple with one hand and silently counted to ten, willing his developing migraine away. "This is an unusual situation. I cannot allow a cadet to wander around, unsupervised in his condition. I also cannot allow an overly eager SOLDIER to exploit said condition, even if he has his best interests at heart, presumably." He said reasonably.

"I'll do right by him!" Zack chirped. "He's just so cute, I want to snuggle him. Surely one teensy snuggle won't hurt him."

"Possibly." The General said dryly. "It's late. You should go now." The dismissal was clear but Zack wasn't ready to budge.

The SOLDIER pointing an almost accusing finger at his superior. "Now, wait. If I didn't know better, I'd say you were taking advantage of this unusual stipulation."

"Situation." Sephiroth corrected.

"Whatever. My point is, what's the big deal? Cloud's a good friend, and I don't want you getting any perverted ideas about him."

A vein throbbed somewhere close to Sephiroth's skull.

"That would be your department." The taller man returned. "I do not harbor any aberrant contemplations toward your friend, unlike yourself."

Zack's eyes widened. "You're using big words. You ARE hiding something!" He exclaimed with a note of 'ah-ha!' in his tone.

"Simply because my vocabulary oft exceeds the minimum syllabic requirements meant for conversation among higher thought-processes does not signify that there is something that I desire to conceal."

"Oh my god, it's worse than I thought." Zack stared at his friend like he was an alien. Sephiroth only retreated behind his well-learnt and diverse literary vocabulary when there was something that was annoying him (which certainly couldn't be his best friend and ever loyal lieutenant at that moment), or when he was trying to get away with something. The more complex his lexicon, more extreme it was. His instincts told him that it was most definitely the latter, with perhaps just a smattering of the former.

A light dawned somewhere in his head. "You know," he said coyly, "if you had a thing for Cloud, you could have just told him."

Sephiroth flushed. "You are delusional. I am most certainly _not_ in possession of any pheromonal attractions directed toward _under-aged_ cadets currently afflicted with unknown status ailments."

"See? I told you it was coming from here." A silky voice drawled from the doorway as the ajar door swung open slowly. A red gloved hand had pushed it open gently. On the other side, Genesis smirked while Angeal gave an exasperated sigh.

"Sorry." The dark haired Commander said, while he glared at his red-haired companion a look of mild aggravation. "Genesis wouldn't leave well alone until he found out what the source of the argument was."

"I am not entirely accountable." Genesis said with a smirk. "After all, our quarters _are_ located on the floor directly below the great General's. We couldn't help but overhear." He tilted his head in an innocent gesture that was utterly lost on them.

"It's nothing." Sephiroth said stiffly. His green eyes were flashing toward Zack, who plainly read the _this is all your fault_ that blazed within them. The last thing he wanted was to deal with Genesis, especially this late at night. "You may return to your quarters _undisturbed_ for the rest of the night." He was all but physically pushing Zack out the door.

The SOLDIER First opened his mouth to protest when his eyes landed on something behind Sephiroth and he froze.

At the same moment, Sephiroth saw Genesis and Angeal blink, slowly. He cursed inwardly and reluctantly turned around, hoping he wouldn't see what he knew would be there.

Standing by the wall of his bedroom, looking as if he was in the middle of the least stealthy sneak-away ever known to the military, stood the miniaturized Cloud Strife, rooted to the spot and staring at them with the widest eyes.

Zack moved first.

"Cloud!" He yelped exuberantly, and made something of a mad dash toward the petrified blonde.

The cadet squeaked as he was suddenly swept up into his friend's arms.

Angeal shot Sephiroth a questioning look while the General covered his eyes with his fingers.

"Well, I suppose after that last incident with the cat, you found yourself a loophole around ShinRa's no pets policy." Genesis surmised from where he was poorly hiding a grin behind a red gloved hand. "You always did have a certain fancy for cute things." White teeth sparkled from a wide grin as Genesis gave up on stifling his humor.

"Zack!" Cloud cried out almost desperately, a tiny hand fisted in the cloth of the SOLDIER's sweater. "Get me outta he'a." He whispered.

This was too much. It was bad enough that the _General_ knew, but ShinRa's top two Commanders as well? Cloud would never live this down. This short, demented form was the worst possible condition for him. So small and helpless, he would never make it into SOLDIER at this rate. He could just see his rejection letter now: SOLDIER Status Denied on the grounds of subject's abnormal predisposition to getting into fucked up situations.

Right then, he just wanted to crawl into a place where no one would find him, and hide there until the spell wore off.

His saucer-sized eyes were still fixed on the trio that stood in the General's living room, who represented the highest tier of ShinRa's SOLDIER Program.

"That policy should never have been instated. The error laid with Dark Nation. How was I supposed to know that the blasted dog followed Rufus around on quarter's inspection night?" Sephiroth grumbled, seemingly to himself. Rufus had made a ridiculous fuss over a few scratches. They were nothing that a potion couldn't handle, and it wasn't like he couldn't afford to buy a new jacket. "Anastasia was harmless."

"You named your cat _Anastasia_?" Genesis gawked at the General as if he had committed some great blasphemous sin.

"I thought she was named Contessa." Angeal said with a small frown.

"Contessa was a Chartreux cat. Anastasia was an Egyptian Mau." Sephiroth informed them.

"Which was the ugly black one?" Genesis asked, his nose wrinkling slightly. "The clinging, squeaking one."

"That was Contessa, and she was a very sweet cat." Sephiroth said, defending his former pet.

"What about Genevieve?" Angeal asked, still looking slightly confused as he tried to remember his friend's multitude of cats, all of which he had doted upon with an alarming amount of affection.

"She was a Russian Blue, and a most fine example of their breed." The General replied with a sniff. He couldn't believe they could not recall his gorgeous pets. They had all been such lovely cats, especially his Ocicat, Esmeralda.

_I'm on par with a pet_, Cloud thought dismally to himself.

Zack's eyes nearly bugged out, hearing his superior officers bicker about _cats_. He would have to ask them later about Sephiroth's cat fetish. His first priority was to get Cloud out of there and into something a bit more fitting. Sephiroth had draped one of his white shirts over Cloud, but it was doing a poor job of keeping the boy well covered. More like, it hung off of him about as well fitting as a set of curtains. He was nearly out the door and into the hallway when a black gloved hand snaked out and snagged him by the back of his shirt.

"Where, exactly, were you planning on taking him, Zackary?" Sephiroth asked coolly, arching a silver brow.

"Um…bed?" He replied, his eyebrows raised in what he hoped was an innocent expression on his face. He hadn't gotten far, but all he had to do was break away from the General's absurdly strong grip, make it past the two First Class Commanders, escape through the door, and try to outrun his three faster superiors down two floors to hide out in the quarters which everyone knew were his. It didn't sound impossible, and even if it was, Zack would have been up for trying it anyways.

Two things stopped him. A pair of tiny fists, and a set of large watery eyes staring up at him. "No. I don' wanna sleep wif you." Cloud protested. "You'a loud in bed and weally heafy when you'a on top."

Zack stilled, risking a sideways glance to his superior officers who were regarding him with varying degrees of curiosity mingled with horror.

"You know, spiky? You really have a way with words." He said quietly. Cloud was complaining about the SOLDIER's poor sleeping habits, like snoring and accidentally rolling over on top of him that time they shared a bunk. But the other Firsts wouldn't have known about that.

To the others he looked up with a smile. "Hey guys, I know it sounded real bad, but it's not like what it seems." He said in his defense.

"Really? 'cuz for a sec there I thought you were into banging under-aged blondes, you perverted pedophile." Reno's snarky comment came from around the corner.

"Weno!" Cloud's face lit up. Then he noted that the Turk had brought Tseng with him, and could have kissed the redhead. The loud-mouthed Turk had brought along someone of authority! Someone who was calm, responsible, and adhered to protocol. Perfect!

He began to wriggle in Zack's grasp, almost too eager to make the too-far leap to Reno.

"Woah! Chill, Cloud. If I didn't know better, I'd say you liked him more than me." The SOLDIER said in a slightly hurt tone.

The blonde stilled. Slowly he turned to face his friend and set his small hands on the taller man's cheeks. "Zack, you know I wuv you, but sometimes dere are things dat you can't help me wif." He wrinkled his nose slightly. "Dis is one of those things." Then he leaned forward from his perch in the cradle of his friend's arms and gave the man a tiny peck on the tip of his nose.

Zack brushed brilliantly at the rare display of affection from the blonde, hardly noticing when Cloud gave a little wiggle and a hop and was promptly caught by Reno, who's own green eyes were opened a bit wider. Hurriedly, Cloud had whispered 'go go _go_!' with a near fervent urgency. While those of enhanced hearing had made it out easily, they were still coming to grips with the most endearing presentation.

Sephiroth's hold on Zack's shirt had loosened in surprise. That had been…adorable.

"Book it, sir." Reno muttered, his feet already doing a shuffle of their own to get out of there.

Tseng raised a curious brow and moved to follow, his black Wutain eyes asking several unvoiced questions, but they were mostly sparkling with amusement. So _that_ was the result of the experimental device combined with a level one Transform materia.

Their way was promptly blocked by Sephiroth.

Knowing better than trying to dodge around him, Reno skidded to a halt.

"If you would return him, that cadet is to remain in my care." Sephiroth said stiffly.

Reno wracked his brains for a smart reply that wouldn't get him skewered by the sword that the General could summon to him with his freaking _mind_!

"The cadet has been afflicted with an augmented status effect cast by an experimental device. The device is currently being handled by the Turks. Cadet Strife would fare better in the hands of the Department of Administrative Research in his current condition." Tseng interjected coolly.

Reno shot his senior a winning grin. Go Tseng!

"As a cadet in SOLDIER program, his custody and well-being falls under the command of his superior officer." Sephiroth replied.

A slight smirk tilted the Turk's lips. "Observing the current condition of the cadet in the SOLDIER program, you must not have been doing a very good job." Tseng said softly.

Reno's brows shot to his hairline. Did Tseng just egg on the _General_? His hold on Cloud tightened, getting the feeling that things were gonna turn a bit rough.

From behind came a faint laugh. "Oh my, the Turks bare their fangs?" Genesis baited. "This has become so very interesting. Come, little redhead, why don't you hand over the chick."

Angeal stared at his friend as if he had lost his mind. "Chick?" He echoed.

"You certainly see the resemblance do you not? He's like a chocobo chick." Genesis made a small beaklike motion with his hand and Commander Hewley blanched. Yes, the resemblance was there but… he glanced back at the cadet.

Cloud was glaring at Genesis, his small face pulled in a frustrated expression with puffy cheeks. Apparently, the cadet didn't seem too fond of the comparison. Absently, he ran a hand through his hair.

"It would be most wise if you handed him over." Sephiroth said evenly, though his hand was held out impatiently.

"Oh hell no. You're just gonna pull that rank bullshit again." Reno growled. He hugged Cloud tighter to him, and the blonde made a startled 'eep.' His green eyes were darting around, seeking a path of escape.

"Rank is his right." Genesis said, backing up Sephiroth. "But if you would rather comply would me instead, that would be your right. The chick, if you will." A red gloved hand was extended toward him.

These SOLDIERs were insane, Reno realized. Unwittingly, he had backed away from the General only to be trapped from behind by the scarlet Commander. He cursed inwardly. Things were heating up, and he was definitely not in a spot he would ever want to be in again. The muscles in his arms tensed, and he glanced down at Cloud, knowing that Tseng was a few meters away, on the other side of Genesis.

Cloud's eyes widened and he shot him a warning glare. _If you throw me, so help me, I'll tell everyone about that time you lost your pants to a four year old with a melonballer._

Helplessly, Reno wanted to reply that the short reach of the little girl tended to wave that melonballer in a _very_ sensitive place for him, but now was not the time. "Sorry, blondie," he said instead, and tossed the minified cadet toward the senior Turk.

If Tseng was surprised, he hid it well, smoothly seizing Cloud from the air. A red gloved hand appeared to snatch the blonde away, but the Turk evaded it. A second red gloved hand came at him, and he slid away, then a third and a fourth, briefly causing the Turk to wonder how many hands Commander Rhapsodos possessed.

He bypassed all of them, spinning once to duck beneath fingers that seemed to be aiming for his eyes. Several meters away he saw the General turning his attention on him as well as Reno making some wild scramble toward him. Suddenly mako bright eyes were right in front of him. He stopped short and his arms were empty.

Zack filched Cloud with a cheer and was ready to bolt down to his room. There was a startled cry from Reno and an angry hiss from the General and Commander Rhapsodos.

Enough of this. Seeing his chance, Angeal calmly reached out and plucked Cloud from Zack. The SOLDIER First stared flabbergasted at his mentor, who merely shook his head. After all the time spent teaching Zack, of course he would know of the puppy's openings. "It's late. You're all being foolish. I'll take custody of him for tonight. The rest of you cool your heads."

With that, Angeal tucked Cloud firmly into his arms and marched away, ignoring the cries of displeasure from his peers, as well as the particularly loud commotion made by Genesis and the pup.

"Dank you." Cloud said tiredly from within Angeal's secure hold.

Angeal nodded his acknowledgement to the cadet, but saw that the blonde had already fallen asleep. He smiled to himself and silently admitted that the kid was rather cute.

* * *

This should be done by now, but for some reason, it's not. Almost done though, I think.


End file.
